This is a collection of vignettes that I wrote for the Missed Connections section of Craig’s List, where people who hope to reconnect with somebody that they saw only briefly post about their almost-encounter. All of these compositions are located in my neighbourhood of Riverside.
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Audrey Hepburn girl in The Leslieville Cheesemarket
You were buying Cambozola and wearing a pair of Hunter rain boots. I was pretending to be inspecting a variety of Goat Cheese, but really I was inspecting you.
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In front of Jimmy's Diner
You were driving a mobility scooter with a Hamilton Tiger Cats flag on the back and I was having a butt in front of Jimmy’s diner. I accidentally spit on the sidewalk in front of you, and you called me a whore, but still, there was something tender in your voice.
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Beautiful blonde getting on the Queen Streetcar at Broadview
As I was getting off the back of the streetcar, you were boarding at the front. I just caught a glimpse of you bending down to ruffle the neck of a friendly dog that was standing nearby. You were utterly stunning. I’m not sure why, but I pointed at you. It was all I could think to do. You smiled and shrugged, and then got on the streetcar—your eyes the most beautiful blue.
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Australian Guy
You slammed the cab door and told the driver to go fuck himself. I was watching, impressed.
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Queen East near the park
You were on a bicycle and stopped to pick up some spare change you found on the street. I was near the dumpster, for a second our eyes caught, and then you shoved the coins in your pocket and furiously pedaled off.
I’d love to scavenge with you sometime.
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Cutie who bought a scratch n’ win on impulse at the cash
On Saturday morning on January the 16th, I helped you find some stuff in the drugstore. You said your luggage had been lost on the flight back from Vancouver. You bought a toothbrush, some dental floss, vitamins and hair gel. Although I’ve been out of the dating world for years, I thought you might have been flirting with me. I wish I had done better, and I’d love to chat on-line, if you’d give me a second chance.
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ATM on Logan
The line-up was long and an old person was taking forever to do their transaction. When she finally left, and we were the last two people, you began to act like an elderly person, asking me in a shaky voice if I knew where the penny slot was. You made my day! I’d love to see you again!
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In front of Jilley’s
It was about one in the morning on Sunday, and you were beating the shit out of some Chinese guy on the sidewalk. You had your shirt off and there was a big tattoo of a bull on your chest. It was hot! I’d love to hook-up with you!
The girl buying the Cambodian Cambozola brought her own bag into the store, waited politely in line and then smiled at an elderly person on the street. She seemed very sweet.
Yes, it was me who with the Bull Tattoo. I'd love to meet up because if you are a friend of that mother'ucker who sold me white powder made from crushed asparin I will kick your ass.
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I would definitely be interested in the girl buying Cambodian (this is what spellcheck has rendered stinky, soft cheese as--think I'll leave it as a reminder of days when BC Green was not the dominant market force it has become).